In Sickness and in Health

Rose is sick with a stomach virus which means a sore stomach and sore bottom. I had the same thing two weeks ago and I was off work for the week. But Rose is only 3 years old and doesn't understand this whole sickness thing. So while Lana has been tired as Martin is getting his sleep patterns worked out, I have been getting Rose to bed and helping her in the middle of the night. The older children also assist to help us out.
The middle of the night is a good time for pondering life's little mysteries, holding your daughter's little hand until she falls into a calm sleep.
When I made my wedding vows with Lana - For Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer in Sickness and in Health - it didn't actually occur to me the full impact of the words. Each of these conditions has nothing to do with one's feelings, and it is also not limited to just my spouse. By extension it also applies to our children while they are in our care. So when anyone in the family is sick - Lana, myself or the children - the rest of the family partakes of the vows to persevere. In effect, living out the marital vows makes everyone in the family grow up.
Thank you God for the grace of marriage to help us through tired nights, soiled bed clothes, crabby temperaments and bleary eyes.

I'm a Catholic Dad

I know that regular readers may have already picked up that I am a Catholic Dad, but my point here is that I am now part of the group blog "Catholic Dads".
This means that I will be adding my bit to the collective output of many other Catholic fathers posting on various fatherhood and family related issues.

What's so great about children?

Gerald of The Cafeteria is Closed asked the question "What's so great about children?" There are lots of comments (64 at last count) but I thought the question deserved an answer here.
I have always looked at these type of "Meaning of Life" questions in the same way I solve business issues at my clients. Take a step back, strip out the answers such as "But we have always done it that way!" and do a Chesterton type examination.
By the way, you can't really plan children. You can certainly say "No", but you can't guarantee children will arrive by saying "Yes".
Anyway the benefits of children depend greatly on the manner in which you accept them. If you treat them as a burden or expense and focus on the ways they cramp your lifestyle, take away your freedom and give very little return for all the trouble you have taken - then they aren't great at all. This is basically the so-called Devil's Advocate position Gerald posited in his post. But it's all rubbish.
Let's use the same arguments with a new car.

Why bother with a new car? It just costs money, fuel is so expensive and smelly, it gets dirty and you have to clean it, the expense is constant even if you don't use it with taxes and fees, there's no more together time as you are driving everywhere, you lose fitness rather than walking, you have to park it somewhere. And once it gets too old you have to sell it or trade it in on a new one and lose more money. Gosh, why would you get a car anyway?

So, ignoring the silly short sighted criticisms of children, the primary thing children actually do is create parents.
Parents are forced to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. They cannot continue to act like teenagers with lots of money. A Dad and Mum now need to consider someone else. Someone who amazingly looks like them and shares many of their own characteristics - both good and bad.
And do you know the really surprising thing? The more the parents embrace their new roles, the greater the grace of marriage acts on them. They grow closer together despite the reduction in "Me" time. It's the "Us" time that is actually more important.
The children react to the unselfish love and respond in kind. Even children that go to school and are bombarded with "Me! Me! Me!" messages all day can still survive with their family love intact as love is quieter in volume but much more invasive internally. Love sticks.
Children are able to multiple love. Each additional child does not mean the same love must now be divided again. Somehow each child increases the total love more than in a straight mathematical line. If the love between Dad and Mum is 2, a baby makes it 3+x and another is 4+x+y and each one adding more again. This is all contingent on accepting and treating each and every child as a gift (which each child is).
We have found the other great feature of children is they are fun (see the 11th reason) The photo with this post is of Clare and Rose playing with Martin. We have been told that younger children in large families tend to be missed out and suffer isolation. Bah! Younger children get spoiled if anything with too much attention from all the rest. While Ariel only had Lana and I, Martin has 8 other people to give him some attention on lots of different levels.
So, what's so great about children? They made us grow up. In growing up we have enjoyed life far more and participated in so many activities we would never have experienced.

Brrrr. What's all this white stuff?

Last night was REALLY cold. Ariel awoke early to make her famous Strawberry Cheesecake muffins for the local shop. With frost on her breath INSIDE she went to the barracks and found a jumper (sweater). It was -6 C (21F). I know all you hardy Northern types think this would class as mild Summer weather but for us this is COLD!
Naturally the boys rushed out and explored the transformed back yard.
Here is Peter looking through the frozen remains of an ice cream container.
James, meanwhile, figured it would be fun to use the trampoline rugged up in many layers of clothing. I asked Ariel, "What do you think of the cold weather?"
Without hesitation she answered, "I don't like it!"
My main problem was that the pipes were actually frozen so we had to wait a short while until the sun melted enough of the pipes so I could have a shower. It's the little things that matter!

Families are Fun

Martin is now about nine weeks old and is a very important member of the family. Oh sure, he always has been since he first started as a little dot in Lana's womb, but now he is interacting and that means he is part of the fun of family life.
I have always given each child a probation period of three months before they must start paying rent. Rent of one smile per day. Luckily they all start smiling around seven weeks or so. Just as sleep deprivation kicks in, every parent wonders "What is the point of all this trial?" Then the baby gives a huge grin (and a burp,gurgle and wind) and you look into his intensely staring eyes and say, "OK. You can stay. Now go to sleep."
But the really good bit about the interaction is you can play games with the baby. Here is Martin doing Yoda impressions. Although he isn't green.
I was in my office checking emails and Eric came in, "Dad, get the camera. This is funny." So I stepped out and all hands assisted in giving Martin his first posed Bruggie Tales photo. I think this will work for his 21st birthday photo montage.

The Sound of Reading

I heartily recommend Why Our Children Can't Read by Diane McGuinness. This is a fascinating work covering research into how reading should be taught.
The first section covers the disaster with US illiteracy rates. Even phonics had a 33% failure rate (school stats) and the current hybrid whole word/phonics system of 42%. The problem lies in what the English language is and how the alphabet represents the language. There are 43 sounds but only 26 letters (and some of these are hardly used or are duplicates). So we cheat. To complicate it further we double up the same sound being represented by multiple letters or combinations, and the same letter/combinations making different sounds depending on context or surrounding letters.
The history section of the book is fascinating and the part comparing other alphabets for different languages is almost worth the book alone.
The golden part is the understanding that the way to teach English is to remember what we are doing. We are not trying to say that the letter makes the sound (phonics), or just remember how a word looks (the ludicrous whole word method) but that the sound is represented by this letter or letters.
I ran the included sample tests with the younger children and it all made sense. The author has studies backing up the use of this method as being 100% successful. 98% within a 12 week training schedule and the remaining 2% requiring a further 6 or so weeks.
So, I am now reading Reading Reflex which is all you need to start the training.
Ariel and Eric picked up reading quickly enough, but the others are finding it more difficult. When I tried the new technique (what letter represents this sound) it is all starting to click. At $22.44 for both these books together, I am very happy.

Mars on Earth

I visited a client in Broome a few weeks ago. Have a look at the map and you will notice that Broome is in the top left corner of Australia, a very long way from here and a long way from everywhere else in Australia.
This is the first time I had travelled so far North West and I was very surprised that everything was so RED. If you ever want to film a movie about Mars, just go West from the coast.
On the return trip I flew direct from Broome to Sydney. This is a 5 hour flight in a straight line. Around half way the plane banked to the left and then straightened. "That's odd," I thought.
About 5 minutes later the pilot announced, "On the right hand side of the plane you should be able to see Uluru or Ayer's Rock."
Naturally I took photos so I could show the family. This photo is enhanced to remove the high level mist in the air. Notice how bleak (and Red) the land is surrounding Ayer's Rock. Imagine how the initial explorers travelled over the bleak, dry land a long way from any civilisation with no long range communications. Amazing!

Belgium is a conspiracy?

I have always been told that my father came from Belgium. I even visited there in 1991 and met relatives and saw some cloudy skies and some cows.
Well now thanks to the truthful nature of all that is on the Web, I have discovered that Belgium doesn't actually exist. It is all an illusion!

On reflection, I suspect that the story may not be fully correct.

Hat Tip: Mark Shea

The Colour Purple

This is a photo of a collection of our towels. Note they all have a common shade of purple. The really bright purple towel is a new acquisition and is a very nice towel.
All the rest used to be white, orange or other light shades.
Lana mentioned to her Mum, "Mum, this is a new towel, it may leak some of the colour."
"Yeah, Oh, OK." Mum said distractedly as she gathered a posse of towels and threw them in the wash.
A little later Mum approached Lana, "I've had a little bit of an accident..." and showed us the newly re-coloured towels.
So all the towels have been freshened up. It's like having a whole new co-ordinated collection of towels!

Now listen here, Mate

We used to be very careful using the ubiquitous phrase "Mate" when we lived in the US. Saying "Thanks, mate" would be matter of course here in Australia, but stopped the conversation over there.
Thankfully, Tim Blair has explained the various shades of meaning to the phrase "Mate" in this article.
Cheers, Mate.

A Jane Austen relationship

Lana discovered a quiz to determine the character your husband or boyfriend is most likely to emulate in the Jane Austen world. Here is the result for me. Now I must go and work out the questions and answers Lana entered...

You scored as Knightley, Your husband/boyfriend is most like Mr. Knightley of Emma! He probably gives you kind lectures to help you in certain matters, though he does these out of true devotion and in your best interests. Others look to him for his wisdom and good sense. He is generous and steadfast, though not afraid to politely argue with you. The two of you enjoy a challenging, sweet partnership and are most likely very active in your community. Knightley 100% Edmund Bertram 100% Col. Brandon 90% Tilney 85% Captain Wentworth 80% Edward Ferrars 75% Darcy 50% Who is Your Jane Austen Boyfriend/Husband? created with QuizFarm.com

Planning Ahead

This is a very humourous YouTube video of a lad who recognises a missing element in his life, knows what is needed and puts the plan into action.

Enjoy!

Soccer Kid

Hat Tip: Vox Popoli

A Quixotic Adventure - every day

I have just finished listening to "Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. The audio book is over 36 hours and is very funny. It was written in the early 1600's and the author mentions that he was involved in the Battle of Lepanto.
The basic book is a satire, attacking all the books of knights and chivalry which were currently the rage. Don Quixote has gone mad, believing that the tales of knights are true and decides he, too, will be a knight errant. With his trusty squire, Sancho Panza, they go out seeking adventures which rarely end up as envisaged by Don Quixote.
The humour from over 400 years ago still comes through today. The translation is impressive. I suspect that the translator has replaced Spanish proverbs with similar English ones as they all seem to rhyme, which I would have thought would be difficult if this was a straight translation.
After listening to the story on my long drives home, upon my return I would glide next to Lana's chair, bend down on one knee and pronounce:

"Lana, my love. I have returned from my sally forth into the wilderness beyond our lands. I have fought corrupt data, wrestled with unbalanced ledgers and subdued unruly end users. I have brought order from chaos and run mighty reports. All this, I have done for you, my unparralleled beautiful Lana."

To which I was rewarded with her enigmatic smile. For what greater reward could I ask?
Wikipedia has quite a detailed entry on Don Quixote for those interested in more information.

Leading questions ..

Game Theorist is a very interesting blog concerned with the economic realities of raising children. Today he has a post regarding a conversation with his son, asking "What if ..."
I'm sure we have all experienced something similar.

Martin is born again!

Jesus answered [Nicodemus]: Amen, amen, I say to thee, unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Ghost, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

(John 3:5)

So, as instructed, Martin was baptised yesterday with much feasting and rejoicing.
We timed the baptism so that my parents from Melbourne (over 800km/500miles away) were able to attend, and it was the regular monthly homeschoolers day, too. So that meant lots of children and family support.
Our biggest nervousness was with the godfather. He was late and luckily just made it in time.
The role of the godparents is to vouch for the infant and in addition to the parents promise to assist the child in living and learning the faith.
Martin did very well and calmly accepted all the ceremonies and at the last pouring of water upon his forehead, "I baptise you in the name of the Father [water] and of the Son [water] and of the Holy Spirit [water]" Martin gave a small cry. Father made the comment, "See, the Holy Spirit does work!"

Family Law

My previous post "The Art of Planning" has led to further discussions with friends and a lot of reflection. I think there is a fundamental disconnection between the way we (heirs to the English legal system in Australia, America and the UK) view law and the way the Church views laws.
Jimmy Akin discussed this difference in two posts suggesting it is a difference between "High" and "Low" context cultures. His theory is that some cultures - including that of the Church - do not have laws and rules that are cut and dried but need a deeper understanding to understand the nuances. Whereas the culture we live in is a Low context culture in that an immigrant can arrive on our shores and quickly assimilate and do well as the rules are pretty easy to follow. Jimmy suggests that this is why we have such difficulties with Church law. With our laws our mindset is to work out how to get away with minimum compliance and expect full enforcement if anyone transgresses those laws.
Upon further consideration I think the Church laws have to be seen in context of how the Church sees herself in relation to us and God. Everything the Church does is in the context of Family. Even the Trinity is a form of family, whereby the love betwween Father and Son is so deep that it becomes another person.
Also, Jesus came into the world as part of a family. The prophets saw Israel as the spouse of God and treated unfaithfulness like adultery.
The Church is considered to be the bride of Christ and we are the children of the Church. So when the Church makes laws and enforces discipline it needs to be viewed in the same way as parents enforce laws in a family. Also, those following the laws need to understand those laws as not just restrictions but rather directions for better living. When we lay down laws for our family, our ultimate purpose is in mind - God's Will and the gaining of heaven.
When the children transgress the rules we have to decide the best way to enforce the compliance. Parents should not inflict "blind justice" as that leads to far too many injustices. Just examine some of the weird inconsistent punishments passed down by the courts or the ludicrous Zero Tolerance enforcements.
Although I am often critical of the lack of zeal in upholding Church laws I understand some of the reluctance. However it does appear as if many bishops and priests suffer from the fallacies of soft parenting and seem to forget that no enforcement means the laws will be ignored.
When the Church has a law we are to understand that it is issued in order for us to achieve our ultimate aim. So avoiding the law using a legal mindset applying every possible exception defeats the purpose and instead of gaining an advantage we only hurt ourselves.
For example, the Church tells us we must attend Church every Sunday or we commit a mortal sin. The reasons are many and Pope John Paul II even dedicated an Encyclical to the topic of Sunday as the Lord's day. However, as this is Church law there are lots of valid reasons to miss Mass and not commit a mortal sin, such as sickness and caring for others. The key is to do our very best to get to Church and if the reason for not attending is beyond our control, you are not guilty of the mortal sin. But knowing that you must attend means that you will then endeavour to do whatever is necessary to keep the Lord's day holy and arrange affairs so that missing Mass doesn't become habitual.
So the best way to understand Church law and our manner of compliance is to:
1. Learn what the law actually is,
2. Study and reflect on the reasons for the law, and
3. With faith and fortitude follow the law to the best of your ability.

A modern William Tell

We recently attended a local fair entitled "Tumut Apple Day". It was a pretty low key affair but I thought this competition was a great idea.
A brave fellow sat on a chair suitably protected with an apple sitting on top of his helmet. Then competitors took turns trying to knock the apple off with water balloons. The younger the competitor the closer he was placed to the target.
I managed to capture this young girl tossing the balloon. She missed.

The Art of Planning

As I spread the joy of our latest edition of the Bruggie clan (version 7.0 - new and improved!) I have found the responses very interesting. There is the standard collection of quick phrases:
"Don't you have a television?"
"Are they all yours?"
"Two [or one] is enough for me!" ... and so on.
But the one that has gotten me thinking is the question, "Do you plan on having any more?"
My job is helping businesses integrate their computerised and manual accounting systems. This involves a lot of planning and working out the steps one must take to achieve the desired goal. After 25 years doing this kind of thing planning is sort of ingrained in how I approach most things.
In a normal plan there are a number of key steps.
1. What am I trying to achieve? What is my goal?
2. What do I need to do or gather in order to get there?
3. How do I use those assets to achieve the goal?
4. How do I know if I have success?
In the real world we know that what we start out aiming for frequently changes, but we modify our plans accordingly.
If I had the aim of buying my first car, I would look at working out how I was going to pay the purchase price and ongoing costs. Then I would act on gathering the money and investigating the appropriate car and then finally purchase one. Over the years as circumstances change I would upgrade or change the vehicle. (Now we have a 12 seater van!)
Somehow, when most people talk about family planning, they don't do any real planning at all. If one wanted a family, then that means children. Yet "family" planning is primarily about NOT having children. And if you were "planning" on a family, you would work on your lifestyle and other areas to facilitate that end.
Also, a child requires the activities of three people. The mother and father provide the material matter and then God provides the soul (or life-force) (or random chance by a blind evolutionary force - whatever). However you look at it the only decisive choice a couple may make about planning a family is to say "NO" or be open to life and hope and trust that "nature" or God will bless the couple with fertility.
So normal planning involves positive actions in order to achieve the end result, while "family planning" involves negative actions to avoid or minimise the end result. Odd.
The other bigger problem is that man is mortal and time stops for no man. The decision to delay a family is for many people the decision to have no family. Fertility reduces as the partners age.
So how do I answer the planning question?
"Do I plan to have any more children? That isn't completely in our hands. We are only part of the equation. God is the one giving us the gifts. We'll just see what comes."
So my family planning is working to provide a safe and faithful home in which to raise all the blessings we have. The actual quantity of blessings is not fully in our control so why worry about that. We believe that God won't throw anything at us that He knows we can't handle, so we pray for the strength to handle the things he does throw at us.

Note: Danielle Bean and Domenico Bettinelli have been talking about this very thing too!

Fire defences for toasting marshmallows

Every year around this time we have a bonfire. The bushfire season is over, the nights are cooler and fire risk is lower. Throughout the past 6 months we have gathered branches, sticks, logs and stray bits of wood into a lovely pile.
It's really a lot of fun gathering around a bonfire on a cool night, armed with a variety of sticks toasting marshmallows or cooking damper. Damper is little more than a flour and water mixture, wrapped around the end of a stick. It is cooked over the flames or embers until it gets cooked - rather than black. Then it is pulled off and butter and Golden Syrup is spread on the inside. Messy but certainly tasty. Outside is definitely the best place for this type of thing.
Peter had a new defense against the flames this year. Last year he hid in a plastic tube, but this year he used his shield with it's new silver bowl in its centre. His shield is made from one end of an electrical cable spool. He was able to peek through the holes in the wood to judge the appropriate cooking placement for his stick. Peter reckons this was a much better solution.

Martin's first Mass

Today we finally attended Mass as a full family again. Martin is now 2 weeks old and Lana is recovering well.
It's amazing how quickly one forgets the early baby days. The last 2 weeks have been a time of re-aligning sleep and waking schedues as we encourage Martin that "Night time is sleep time!"
His sleep/awake ratio is improving as he is getting his fill and learning how to digest his meals. All the children are very proud of the latest Bruggie (version 7).