Bruggie Nativity Play

We had fun doing our Nativity play this Christmas and have been put the video on You Tube. Enjoy.

Rainy day? No problem.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

On a typical Summer's day we have lots of rain which means the children have to stay indoors. Now this could be a challenge for some, but our young lads had a plan. They were quietly industrious for a while which is always a potentially dangerous thing so we popped over to investigate.
They had made a pretty impressive fort with all the cushions and blankets.
It's good having brothers.

Staying Cool on a Hot Day

"What next, Opa?"

On a hot day it is important to get into the gardening before the sun gets too high. So Martin and then Zach helped Opa tending the garden, gathering ripe vegetables and trimming and digging as required.
As the sun rose, Zach worked out a very natural way to stay cool.  He discovered the perfect leaf with which to provide just the right amount of shade. He then proceeded to wear it outside and inside until it perished through wear and tear.

Do you like my hat?

Dating, Courting or just Going Out

As the children are growing and developing into fine young adults it is time to have "The Discussion".  Not the one about the mechanics, but the one about the true pursuit of happiness and discernment of one's vocation and life partner.
There has been much written about dating and courtship and a variety of definitions have been given to these terms, so much so that if you haven't been reading the various publications dedicated to this genre you may well be trapped into giving an "incorrect" answer to a question such as "Do you Date or Court?"  As in so many of these life and faith style questions we have gone back to the root and tried to determine how we handle these situations.

Why did God make us?  

As we have learned from our little green catechism, God made us to Know, Love and Serve Him in this world and to be together with Him in the next. Cool. That is a great starting point. Know - Love - Serve.  In that order.
So, in order to truly serve someone, you must love them, and to truly love them you must know them. Otherwise, loving someone you do not know is either loving an illusion or loving only part of them. Either way this is an unsatisfactory love that cannot fully satisfy.
With this in mind, the aim of any dating, courtship or "going out" is to know the person better to determine whether you really love him or her.

So how do you Know someone?

Let's look at successful marriages, those in which the husband and wife have been married for a good time and obviously love each other. Reviewing their discussions about how they have grown in their love, one thing comes out strongly. The secret of knowing someone is Shared Experiences.
Shared Experiences are those things you do together and in doing them you learn more about each other.  Not just the external things such as favourite colours or preferred foods or sports, but the important things like honesty, integrity, ability to serve, how they treat others, dedication to a task and so on.

Why go to all this trouble?

If the ultimate aim of getting to know someone in this context is the possibility of marriage, what makes marriage work? We know part of it is shared experiences, but another important aspect is the serving part.  Remember, the progress is know - love - serve.  Our knowing leads to a true love which leads to true service.  That means our understanding of marriage will be flawed if we look at through the eyes of contemporary media.  Marriage works best when the couple works together serving through love and knowing each other more every day.  That means the husband and the wife serve each other 100%.  Not 50% each.  It's a maths thing.  If each serve each other 100%, that is 100% x 100% = 100%.  A fully lived life in love.  If it is 50% each, then you are only getting 50% x 50% = 25% - a small fraction of what you could be experiencing.
It is important to remember however that the 100% each provides is not identical.  Each member of the marriage have complementary gifts to bring to the union.  That is what makes marriage so productive. If both did the same thing, there would be a lot less interesting development and just more of the same.
So the knowing stage is designed to learn about the gifts each can bring to a marriage and whether both suitors are capable of the serving required in a true loving union.

So what are the best type of shared experiences?

An experience shared depends greatly on the background of each party.  If both have a similar background it is more likely that the experience the couple participate in will be considered the same way.  But the more the backgrounds diverge, it is more likely the experience each person gets from the experience will differ.
For example, if one of the couple is from a large family and the other has been home alone, the experience of a family dinner with lots of people milling around will come as quite a shock to one and be background noise to the other.  But the experience when discussed and reviewed in chats afterwards will form an excellent shared experience.  The empathy of both persons should allow each one to hopefully see a little of life from the other's point of view.  Now we have a point in time where they know more about each other and have shared a little snippet of life from which a true relationship can grow.

But what about chemistry?

The issue with a couple going out is that human chemistry can interfere with the growth in knowledge and tempt the couple to cut short the knowing stage and go directly to the loving stage. On the one hand the chemistry (or hormones or natural attraction) is necessary to get the whole thing rolling. After all, you wouldn't even bother getting to know someone more if you weren't attracted in the first place. But if you succumb to the attraction and go too far, the physical nature will take over and you will have missed much of the important knowing stage.  Suddenly the joyful experience of loving is tainted by the illicit nature of the exchange and the fruitful development of getting to know each other through shared experiences is also twisted. Now instead of looking for experiences through which you can learn more about each other, you aim for times to be out of sight of others - allegedly to "be alone with each other".

So how do you achieve the right balance? 

It isn't easy. On the one hand a "courtship" whereby you never have any time alone to actually discuss or have any unique shared experiences is limiting, but on the other hand "dating" whereby you are always together alone is a recipe for succumbing to temptation and hence failure too.
The steps for a successful knowledge stage of a relationship would be:
1. Being in a state of grace.  
Each person in the deal needs to have a proper relationship with God, and strive to balance the important two sided nature of any enterprise whereby it is worked on as if it is 100% depends on God and 100% depends on your work too.  Faith without works is dead - you need both sides for the task to be a success.
2. Agreeing on the whole point of the exercise.  
At the initial stage, the point is not marriage - it is getting to know the other person.  You can't contemplate or plan marriage to someone you don't love, and you can't love someone without knowing them.  So stage 1 is getting to know each other.
3. Organising lots of shared experiences. 
These would be with friends and with family. Knowing someone means knowing their friends and family.  If you don't like any of the other person's friends are you sure you are really compatible? Also, shared experiences are not just "fun" things like movies and entertainment.  They should include regular things like dinner, attending Mass and visiting family and friends, special things and tasks such as helping someone move house, painting, working together, participating in sports, volunteering time or watching and supporting the other person do something they enjoy.
4. Having quiet time. 
It is important that there is time alone to ponder and review all these shared experiences.  It is not just the experience itself, but the consideration of those times that allow the experiences to fully take root and flower. There also needs to be times when you can just sit and chat about important things without all the noise and confusion.  No TV, no texting, no Internet - just sitting on the beach or the back yard or deck, watching the horizon or birds and insects dart around the trees and plants. In fact, this quiet time is part of the shared experience - both the time spent together reviewing the experience and the time alone doing the same thing.

The final key to success

All this only works when the path is laid out at the beginning. In any endeavour you need to know the objectives before you start in order that you are able to determine whether you are actually on track or have lost your way. There is no point having a process without a destination. The goal needs to be appropriate to this stage of the game. Knowledge of the other person is the aim for this stage, with the greater conditional aim of marriage.  Discerning that marriage is not appropriate for this couple is not a failure, it is a correct outcome.  Not only is this not a failure, it is a valuable lesson for both parties working out what - and who - they are actually seeking. That is the whole point of the exercise.

So go and get to know each other.  Avoid occasions whereby you will be tempted to shortcut the process as doing so will not result in true happiness. And on the way you will have more fun and less regrets.

Christmas Nativity Play

The children have grown since this photo was taken!

One of the benefits of having a larger family is that you get to do many fun things more than once.  Often as children grow they don't want to do what they did when younger.  At least, that is what they tell you.
Then one of the younger children are eager to do the activity the older ones did when they were younger and soon enough we are all doing it again. Yay!
Back in 2004 I created a Nativity Play which has since been downloaded over 10,000 times. This is a unique Nativity Play as it is created directly from scripture with no made up bits.
There are plenty of parts - speaking and non speaking - and is great fun.
I have just updated the format so it is easier to read and much prettier too.
Enjoy!

But I'll be bored!

Are you bored yet?

On Sunday the younger children decided they would be very disobedient at bed time. We gave the first warning and received the standard reply, "Yes Dad"
But talking continued after lights were out.
So a direct appeal with appropriate stern footsteps down the hall and standing in the room with serious direction to go to sleep.
"Yes Dad"
Shortly after, we had more talking and mucking around.
"As you wish," I said, "It is obvious that the electronic entertainment of iPad, computers and movies are affecting your sleep patterns.  None tomorrow.  Now go to sleep."
"Yes Dad"
This was still insufficient encouragement.
"Right, it's now extended to a week."
There was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth. And they finally settled down and went to sleep.
So this week, the wettest in several months, had no electronic diversions.  "What can we do?" they asked.
"Work it out, or you can go back to bed," we suggested.
The children ended up doing:

• Crafts
• Playing outside (in the moments of sunshine)
• Listening to audio books
• Reading other books
• Building blanket tents
• Making up games
• Started weaving a shawl
• Playing with Lego

Well, that worked well.  This is a great form of "punishment".  We get a better response and obedience, and the result is positive too.

Life in Show Biz

That way!

We have had a production company in our village filming a short movie in the hall and local shop. There was a call out for extras so we volunteered the children from Peter down and I was there to ensure Zach's compliance.
It was a great day where we were able to experience all the behind the scenes work that goes into filming a scene.  So much effort into such a small scene!  In breaks the children were curious and asked questions and the film crew responded marvellously.  They even had Martin and Rose hop onto the camera dolly and push it around to see how it all worked.
The crew were very surprised at how well the children behaved and performed their roles as extras in the movie.
So today we can record as an excursion in film studies!

A Little Bit Of Kindling

Just a little bit of kindling

Once more it is cooling down in the evenings so we need to light the fire. "I think we need a bit of kindling," I said to James.
He gathered up Rose, Martin and Zach and they went for a walk among the nearby trees.
Eucalyptus/gum trees are notorious for dropping leaves, twigs and branches all year round making a superb fire hazard around their bases. This works out fine during Winter when we can perform this community service, reducing the local fire hazard whilst gaining kindling to start our fires.  Dried gum tree branches are great for starting fires.
A short time later they returned and showed me their "little bit of kindling".
"Yep," I said, "That should do the trick."

Eric's First Car

Just like a First Car is supposed to be

Now that he has his driving licence, Eric needed something to drive.  By a great stroke of fortune, a relative of a friend had upgraded her car and was able to sell Eric her old one for only $450!  It is roadworthy and runs well. The paintwork may not be premium but who cares? It is a first car and no finance was needed. Well done Eric.
But cars come with other costs.
Insurance (3rd party which covers damage to other vehicles and property) costs about $300 a year.
Registration and compulsory insurance (which covers damage to other people) will probably come in at around $900 a year.
And then general maintenance and other running costs.  Luckily he is a clever fellow and has a knowledgable Opa and father of a friend who can help him with car maintenance.
Now he can be free (er).

Another one through!

Done!

Eric has passed his driving test and now has his P (Probationary) plates.  He has now gained another independence step, freeing him from the vagaries of public transport.  At least that will be the case when he gets his own car.
In Australia, learner drivers need to pass a knowledge test, then accumulate 120 hours of driving experience (including 20 hours of night time driving) over a minimum of 12 months and then pass a driving test with close to 100% success.
The resulting Red P plate has some limitations, moving to the green P plate after at least a year and then finally a full license at a minimum of a year again.  So from the time of passing the Learner Driver test, it is at least 3 years before you become a fully licensed driver.
We have two children through so far.  The next is about to take his test and then we have another 15 or so years of learner driving as we go through the remaining 5 children.
I am very glad that Lana's father is around to help with the driving load!
Well done Eric!

Autumn is colourful

It's raining leaves

We only have a limited number of trees that act as seasons signposts, where Red and Orange mean slow down and Green means go outside.
So we get to enjoy the leaves changing colour and yelling to all of us that the great season of Autumn has arrived. I took this photo of Rose playing with the leaves at the local shop. Less than a week later all the leaves are gone. No more playing with the leaves.
When Rose was born almost ten years ago this time was Spring, with all the trees bursting with new green life and the weather warming up. She doesn't remember, other than through our photos, but we still remember the great time we had living in Georgia.

Grandparents are awesome 2

"Look Pirate Tough - Close enough"

Unfortunately we only see my parents a couple of times a year as we live quite a distance away from them.  This distance has been shrunk since getting Mum an iPad so now we can share videos and photos and even Skype between visits.
Mum is a great seamstress.  Recently the younger boys wanted pirate outfits.  With little more than their rough measurements and some movie pirates on which to base costumes, Mum created some great outfits.
This photo is of the boys playing in the Pirate costumes.  "Look Pirate Tough" I asked the boys so we could show off the costumes.
They struck this pose.  I shrugged and said "Close enough".
When a parcel arrives from Grandma the recipients take as little time as possible to access the goodies inside and test them out.
Considering the new word of approval, cries of "Awesome" follow their revelation of the box's contents.

Grandparents are awesome

The wheels of the bus go round and round

Grandparents are awesome

It is a great benefit having Lana's parents living with us.  It is not for baby sitting as the children either come with us or the older children can do the job.  It is for the benefit of just being there.
The children all remember wandering across to Grandma and Opa's place for morning tea - basically a biscuit or lolly and a cup of milk. They have all helped in the garden or carrying various tools or otherwise "helping" in various household tasks.  Sometimes we get complaints of a bit too much "help".
Yesterday Opa was going for a walk with Zach, Martin and Rose.  Martin and Rose ran ahead while Zach stayed behind and held onto Opa's hand.  He looked up at Opa and said, "I like you Opa.  You and Grandma. Awesome."
Now that is what I call positive reinforcement.

Rose and Zach were helping Opa pack their bus for their weekend trip. Opa walked around the corner of the bus, out of direct sight.
Zach paused and said, "Dammit.  We lost him."
A few steps later and they caught up with him.

The city is very interesting

There are a lot of cars in the city

Yesterday Clare came with me as I visited a few clients then did some wholesale shopping for our shop.  This meant waking at 5:30am to leave by 6:00pm so we could get to the first client at around 8:00am.
"It's so dark!" Clare commented as we left, using a torch (flashlight) to get to the car.
"There's a lot of cars going to the city," said Clare and was amazed as the kilometres sped by and more and more cars continued to join us until we were surrounded by cars.  Luckily traffic flowed pretty well today, but it was still a 2.25 hour drive.
"Ooh!" she said as the lift went up 6 floors and "Oh!" as it slowed down.  "Elevators are cool,"
She read her books pretty quickly while I helped my clients and then she tagged along as I finished up.  A couple of the employees said to each other, "We better watch our language as David's daughter is here!"
"The buildings are really tall and way too close together!" she noticed.
The second client and the wholesale businesses were near the airport, so plenty of planes were visible reasonably close. "They're so close.  Planes are cool."
I have been assisting the second client for almost 20 years so we are on pretty familiar ground.  He said to Clare as we were leaving, "Thank you Clare.  You did a great job."
All in all it was a good day having Clare come along spending a day with Dad. This goes down under "Work Experience" or "Field Trip" in our homeschool diary.
Many of the people we encountered asked "No school today?" to which we promptly answered, "We homeschool.  This is a field trip."

Not Pedalling Not Riding

A Team Effort

"Dad, can we show you something outside?" said Martin when I was home earlier than usual on a beautiful sunny afternoon in the last days of daylight saving.
"What are you going to show me?" I asked, as I have to make it worthwhile.
"Zach and me and his bike," he replied.
"What's so special?" I enquired.
"Zach's not pedalling and I'm not riding it." he explained in his own unique fashion.
I sat back and pondered how one could achieve this fine double negative and went out to see what they were doing.
Zach was on the seat with his legs in the air and Martin was pulling on the rope attached to the bike's handlebars.
So Martin did provide an accurate description after all.  The bike is about 30 years old and the old brittle plastic is not strong enough for older children so this is their solution so they could both play with it.
"But I had to do most of the work," added Martin as I am typing this.

Dressmaking - Starting Small

A matching full summer outfit - in miniature

Clare and Rose wanted to buy some American Girl dolls and the various accessories.
Although Clare has earned the money working in our shop, the cost to purchase and ship to Australia was exorbitant. Clare was willing but our parental veto was invoked.
Although disappointed, Clare accepted the decision.  A short time later Aldi was selling 18" dolls for $25 with a starting outfit.  Deal!
Now it was a matter of dresses and accessories.
Both grandmothers are very good seamstresses and Lana has the skills too. So this has provided a great opportunity for Clare to learn the skills doing something she wants to do.
We purchased some doll patterns for very reasonable prices (some Free) from You Can Make This and with some initial tutoring from Lana, Clare has been quite busy.
YouTube has also been handy with instructions for making shoes.  This photo shows her first attempt at shoes and her first dress from the patterns she purchased.
Based on this method of dressmaking, for the cost the one American Girl doll we will have quite a wardrobe of clothes and accessories!
Now all this sewing is done after "Schoolwork" and on the weekends.  Because this isn't schoolwork, but fun!

Preparing Dinner for today and tomorrow

Many hands make dinner work

As a family we enjoy the taste of home made crumbed chicken.  Remembering the story of the little red hen and the making of her bread, everyone gets to help.
Lana chops up dried bread in the food processor and then we mix in some pepper and basil and if - we feel up to it - grated lemon rind.  The children then line up for the manufacturing process.
Lana slices the chicken breast into thin pieces.
This goes to Zach (4) who coats it in plain (general purpose) flour.
Clare (13) then dunks it in an egg and milk mixture.
Martin (6) then coats the wet thing in the bread crumb mixture and adds it to the pile.
Meanwhile, Rose (9) and Peter (15) washed and cut up the potatoes that had been peeled by Clare.  Rose cut and peeled the carrots.
Once the potatoes, carrots and peas are boiled, Ariel (22) will assist with the frying of the chicken schnitzels in the electric fry pan.  James (17) and Peter will then help set the table that has been cleared by the other children.
After dinner, James and Peter will do the washup, with the younger ones filling or emptying the dishwasher as required.
So when people ask us "How do you cook for so many?" we can simply answer, "Together".
This really works well because we have the lifestyle that homeschooling allows.  We have no school homework or incessant "extra-curricular" activities to interrupt these life skills.
I think I will record this as today's "Home Economics" lesson.

Reminiscing at the latest birthday.

Just one more candle...

We celebrated Zach's birthday recently and it was a sort of milestone.  I was chatting with a new acquaintance recently and he mentioned to me that he had 3 children under 7.
I paused for a moment and considered this measure.
"We've had 3 under 7 for the last 15 years!" I replied.  But that is no more.
Now Zach is 4, we have no more nappies, less shared night-times with the Starfish sleeping technique of babies, no night time feeding and many more activities that a 4 year old is now too old for.
He and Martin are playing much more together, rather than having occasional fights for control over a shared toy.
For 22 years of being parents we always have had a new younger one bringing up the rear while we handled new adventures with the older children. We are now in a new phase.  Not better or worse, just different.  Again.

Puddles are for jumping

It is a great adventure, privilege and honour to be able to be such a part of a family.  Being able to share so many of our experiences together, through homeschooling, running a business, and generally living the busy life of 10 people is a great blessing.
Too often we think of family life and children primarily in terms of their costs and responsibilities. But I think this is missing the point.  We are told that children are a great gift and will be of great benefit to us. I suspect much of that beneficial nature is lost when you focus incorrectly.  It's a bit like pointing a camera using manual focus and not knowing you have to move the lens to see better.
Initially the object of your focus is blurry and indistinct, but as you turn the lens you suddenly see all the good bits and soon all the non essential parts can be ignored as the focus is on the gift - and then on the gift giver.

Preparing for the future - but not by doing year 12

Training on the job

When we first started homeschooling over 17 years ago, among all the questions was: "What will you do about year 12 and University?"
At the time we simply answered, "We will cross that bridge when we get to it." and "We just do one year at a time and see how it goes." which deferred the problem until a future time.

We have been quiet on Bruggietales for the last few years because we have been working on the answer to that concern from complete strangers about the welfare of our children.
My theory was that children have the capacity for much more but are rarely given the chance. In the age of sail 15 year olds were lieutenants in the army and navy and were working in responsible positions throughout the economy.  Why not ours?
So we bought a shop.  It is a country store which sells everything as well as being the local Post Office agency and we added in a cafe and restaurant. We then put Ariel (then 17 years old) in charge. My business is integrating business systems so I was initially heavily involved setting up systems and working how the store should run, liaising with suppliers and generally training Ariel how it all worked.  As each child got older, they were added to the employee pool.
The children were also paid award wages and conditions and everything was run as a professional business. In this way they were able to learn not only business skills but also personal money skills.

Perhaps a bit young, but he volunteered.

However, in this world that suffers from credentialism - that is, the requirement that a bit of paper means much more than mere experience - this was insufficient to answer that question from so long ago.
So we utilised the traineeship/apprenticeship schemes in place to foster staff training.  We signed up each of the young people who worked for us full time - both our children and other young people who we employed - into a Level III certificate in Retail Management.  This is equivalent to a TAFE (like a US community college) course.  Not only did this provide the young people with a framework within which all the experience they were getting made sense as part of the greater business structure, it also counted as a study pre-requisite for University enrolment.
Normally children complete a gruelling and stressful year 11 and 12 (called the HSC - Higher School Certificate) which then gives them a score which can be used to get into the standard entry stream of University enrolments. But you can also enter University showing prior studies and this works just as well.  And as the Level III certificate counts as tertiary studies, you're in.  Of course, this depends on the degree the young person wishes to study, but the principle is sound.

I volunteered for my birthday

When Eric was 17 he applied and was accepted to the online open university and they accepted his qualifications.  He worked out that a University degree wasn't for him, but we proved that the Certificate III was sufficient for him to enrol.
Through our store we have now provided two of our children and three other young employees with Level III certificates.  Ariel actually completed a level IV certificate and Diploma in Business management.
Even though the business is basically break even - and a loss in the early years - the net cost was less than school fees for year 11 and 12 and TAFE fees.  And the children earned full time wages.
So now when we are asked what we will do for HSC and qualifying for University we can answer, "We'll buy a business."

Watering the children

I won't get wet.  I have this umbrella thing.

One very important thing I have learned since moving to the country about 14 years ago is that water is a scarce resource and rain is always good.
Our water supply is supplied by the rain, falling on our house and garage and flowing down the gutters into our water tanks.  The tanks' total capacity is around 90,000 litres (about 24,000 gallons) with which our total water needs are met - drinking, bathing, washing - the lot.
We use water efficient devices and turn off taps when not in use and are generally pretty conscious of our water usage. Even though the worst of the drought is behind us where we live, we continue to monitor the water levels.  So when it rains enough that the water tanks overflow, it is an exciting time.  Especially in the warmer days of Summer.
"Go outside and enjoy the rain!" we tell the children and off they go. We figure the fresh rain and clean air helps all the plants grow and it doesn't do the children any harm at all.